Well I've got a few friends who have blogs that aren't completely dedicated to photographs of their children and they use the opportunity as almost a journal. So I thought I'd give it a try...maybe once a week at the max!
So I had the wonderful opportunity to have breakfast with my great friend Emily at
The Other Side last week. As we gathered there, Emily with two children in tow and me with Reid we met Phil and Anne with their two little ones. Then very shortly after being there they told us they were expecting a baby! Congratulations Phil and Anne! What wonderful news. I felt so excited for them and so happy that we were all there with our families. There is just a great sense of happiness seeing friends that you have had since junior high with their children. Anyway....to the point. Emily and I were talking and discussing judgment. And how when you become a parent your life is all of a sudden an open book for anyone and everyone to pass judgment on you, your children and your parenting. Emily and I have children that are only about three weeks a part and we pretty much do everything different, she works I stay home mostly, she formula feeds I breast feed, I cloth diaper she uses sposies etc. So that got me to thinking......why are we both being judged constantly? Why do people want your babies to grow up when you simply want to freeze time? What I mean is why are people always asking, are they sleeping through the night? Are they eating solid foods? Are they potty trained yet? etc etc. So this is what we hear from everyone including our families friends and complete strangers.
Breast Feeding: First you are judged by the nipple nazis at the hospital telling you that you that it is the only way and absolutely the only way your baby will thrive. Then when you are successful at breastfeeding people wonder....how do you know how much they are eating? What if they aren't getting enough....the list goes on.
Formula Feeding: The devil's brew. That is all I have to say about that.
Working: If you work you are abandoning your child and letting someone else raise them
Stay at Home: You are babysitting and wasting your college education
Cloth Diapering: You are just plain crazy, and it's gross. (This one is very interesting to me, my next "journal" entry will be all about cloth diapering bc I've gotten
so so so many emails and questions about it and every response from "Gross, never in my house" to "You are awesome, good for you!"
Disposables: Earth Killer
Having Babies on Schedules: If you have one you are trapped by your children
Not Having Babies on Schedules: The children are running the house
Sleeping through the night: Lucky you! Why?
Not Sleeping through the night: You are spoiling them and shouldn't answer their cries.....
The sleeping question is by far the most commonly asked question. My response is "sometimes" even though Reid technically sleeps through the night (any 7 hour stretch of sleep is technically sleeping through the night). Then I see it, the look. ...the look of pity that my 4 month old isn't sleeping from 7 pm to 7 am. I just smile and proceed to tell them what a good baby he is when in reality I want to tell them this....I love to feed my baby especially in the middle of the night, I absolutely love it. It is so dark, quiet and serene. It's our time uninterupted and I wouldn't trade anything in the world for those hours I've spent with Reid. I also want to tell them that I will be sad when those late night feeding aren't needed anymore. But I don't. I don't bc I don't want that look. The look of ...oh you are a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, co-sleeping, attachment parenting lunatic. Yup that's the look I try to avoid. Even though that isn't true, it is the judgement that is made. Like I asked before, I wonder why people want children to grow up faster than they already do? Then I wonder why I don't want Reid to grow up? Maybe it's because we hit a few bumps in the road when trying to have children, maybe it's because it felt like I waited so long for him, or maybe it's because he is just so darn cute every single day, maybe it's because he smiles at me all the time and cries when I leave the room, but maybe just maybe it's bc these past 4 months have been the happiest and most rewarding times for Kevin and I. So we are just going to continue holding Reid, rocking him, playing with him, feeding him whenever he wants, and constantly "spoiling" him! Why? Because we want to and we can.
